Talking about some (positive) mental health changes in my life.

I'll be talking briefly about mental health, depression and medication in this post. This is partially a vent, but also I want it to be a story for people reading to not give up hope on yourself.

Through middle and high-school, and even into proper adulthood, I have been quite severely depressed. This has gone mostly untreated my whole life. Attempts have been made through the years to give me appropriate care and treatment for what is wrong with me, but through my own fault or through the systems fault, it didn't work very well. For so long, probably a decade, I've been in a rut. I've been so fucking sad and hopeless every single day, trudging through the mud. This grinds down your will to be a person, it pulverizes your soul to dust when allowed to go unchecked for that long. Depression symptoms can come from a variety of places, but mine came from one major actor; ADHD.

Recentlty I worked up the energy and courage to speak to my doctor about additonal medication to treat my symptoms. After working out the prescription stuff and all that business, I started my dosage. Treatment for an ADHD diagnosis may vary for a lot of people, but for me it has worked wonders in the last week. Most importantly, it has given me back my autonomy. My will to live.

This last week has been mostly spent cleaning up after the mess I've made the last few years. Depression nesting, dust and uncleanliness, garbage. If you're in a similar situation, understand that there are absolutely people who are dealing with the same thing. You aren't alone, and these symptoms don't define you. You're not disgusting, lazy, or a waste of time or energy. These are things I felt too. Nearly every day. There are a number of things that enter your mind and tear you down from within. Societal pressures, people not understanding the suffering. It's a total negative feedback loop. But there are people who care, who understand. It is imperative that you keep trying things to help yourself. There's always a way out, keep going.

Thanks for reading, I'll be posting more art soon. Been working my ass off on some (currently) private projects.